Matthew Montano

Matthew Montaño

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist

What You'll Learn About Matthew Montano

Matthew Montano Couples Therapist

Working with couples has always been a passion of mine. It’s part of the reason why I specialized in couples therapy! 

We know that relationships are complex and have many layers (like an onion or a parfait).

I would like to help you transform your relationship and draw you and your partner closer together. 

In couples therapy, I want to help you reach your goal to reignite the passion and love for each other. 

My goal is to help couples recognize personal and relational strengths and to assist couples in identifying the areas where improvement will be the most beneficial personally and within the relationship. 

Both individuals bring a unique perspective as well as their own talents into the relationship.

This unique perspective helps shine a light in couples counseling on where the disconnect is personally and within the relationship. 

The more I do couples therapy I’ve realized one thing, hope is what couples are looking for when they come in for marriage counseling; hope that the relationship is salvageable, hope that communication will increase, hope that they can rekindle the love they know is there. 

Hope is what the Gottman Method offers.

Why Gottman Method in Couples Therapy?

I use the Gottman Method in all of my couples counseling. 

In using the Gottman Method, I help couples recognize what attracted them to their partner.

I help partners increase healthy communication and understanding in their relationship, allowing the two of you to draw closer to one another. 

In Couples Therapy you will learn new tools that will increase your fondness for each other and strengthen your friendship. 

These tools will also help each of you learn to increase respect, intimacy, and shared meanings within the relationship.

All of this combined leads, you as a couple, to reduce conflict. 

You can have difficult conversations in a much more productive way that ensures you both are feeling heard and validated.

Gottman Method Works Wonders

I have seen the Gottman method work wonders in not only the lives of my clients but also my own marriage! 

Even though I’m a therapist and someone who specializes in marital communication, I am not perfect.

I still get it wrong sometimes, and I let my emotions and frustrations get the better of me, unfortunately, at my wife’s expense. 

I have, however, been able to use the Gottman Method to correct these situations quickly and efficiently! 

My wife and I have used various Gottman tools to truly listen to and validate each other’s perspectives and empathize with one another. 

We can bring up areas of concern in a gentle manner, rather than starting the conversation with attacks and criticism. 

We have been able to take breaks from arguments when we recognize that we are not getting anywhere in the discussion, and it is becoming more toxic and contentious. 

When we do come back to the conversation, after we have taken the time to cool off and practice some self-care, we are able to come to a resolution much more quickly than if we had stayed in the original contentious argument.  

Relationships Can Heal

Divorce is painful.

I have seen clients who are on the brink of divorce or separation. 

“If he can’t show up for me, it’s over… If she doesn’t change, we’re through”.

These relationships have been able to improve so much that when I ask them when they last thought about divorce, the usual response is something to the effect of

“It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it, I guess it’s not on my mind anymore.”. 

The hope that was mentioned earlier was allowed to take root and thrive in a way where both partners feel like they have an actual voice in their relationship. 

You are not alone in your relationship nor are you alone on the journey of healing and reconnecting.