NEED A THERAPIST IMMEDIATELY? WE HAVE OPENINGS! INSURANCE ACCEPTED. CALL 801.901.0279!
NEED A THERAPIST IMMEDIATELY? WE HAVE OPENINGS! INSURANCE ACCEPTED. CALL 801.901.0279!
By: Gordon S. Bruin M.A., L.P.C
Edited by Tony Rhoton
“One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” – J.R.R. Tolkien
Pornographers are keenly aware of the content I will share with you.
They are trying to do everything possible to keep this addiction treatment information from reaching you.
They don’t talk about it, nor will they.
Pornographers understand that millions are addicted to their material and a lot more addicted daily.
The pornography industry is the biggest drug cartel in the world!
Neuroscience shows us that there is little difference in the physical or chemical changes in the pleasure and control centers of the brain, whether the addiction is from a chemical or an experience.
Neurosurgeon Dr. Donald L. Hilton Jr. states,
“It is imperative that we treat pornography and sexual addiction with the respect accorded any drug addiction, for as we shall see, that is precisely what it is.”
Until we, the general public, become more informed about the reality of how pornography reacts with the human brain, it will just be looked at as a moral weakness or some entertainment rather than a true chemical addiction.
As a professional counselor working in the sex addiction treatment field for more than 20 years, I want to make it clear: sexual addiction issues, like pornography and sex compulsions, are a chemical addiction.
“One ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them. One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. In the Land of Mordor where the shadows lie.” -J.R.R. Tolkien
Sex addiction treatment is one of the most challenging addictions to treat because it strikes at the core of our humanity.
Interest in sexuality is a primary driving force in human beings.
It is pleasurable for a reason and necessary for the human race to exist.
If there were ever to be the perfect drug created, pornography would be it.
Pornography is the “perfect brain poison.”
Therefore, pornography and sex addiction are extremely difficult to reverse.
The major pornography addiction treatment dilemma with this drug is that it is legal and accessed in almost every home free of charge 365 days a year, 24 hours a day.
Simply put, it is one click away.
The chemical cocktail that is released in the brain is of the most profound and addicting nature.
The almost impossible challenge we face is the fact that most addicts encounter it very young.
Young people throughout the world become addicted before realizing what is happening.
The age most people say they were exposed to porn ranges from 6 – 11 years old, some even younger.
How would you feel if you saw a person holding a young child on the ground and injecting them with heroin?
It’s not a pleasing thought. In reality, this is what’s happening with pornography.
Throughout my career, I have spent innumerable hours on porn and sex addiction treatment, treating individuals and couples with chemical dependency addictions like alcohol, heroin/opiates, cocaine, methamphetamine, marijuana, etc.
I feel qualified to speak about addiction treatment and about what I have witnessed and claimed from a clinical therapeutic perspective that pornography addiction is the primary addiction of them all.
It strikes humanity’s core and negatively affects the world in ways the majority scarcely imagine.
The increasing concern is what will happen with the upcoming generation without education, help, and sex addiction treatment.
The children do not have immunity to it, and the young children are the ones being exposed at a shockingly high rate.
Our brains are made up of chemicals called neurotransmitters.
These chemicals control our emotions, feelings, and behaviors.
Many, unfortunately, do not realize how powerful these tiny chemicals are and how they affect our lives, behavior, and happiness.
At this microscopic level, there’s a constant interplay between chemical and electrical interaction.
In his insightful book, “The Mind and the Brain,” Dr. Jeffery Schwartz explains the differences between the mind and the brain.
There is a continuous interplay between both parts, and each may have a powerful influence on the other.
The mind and the brain work simultaneously to bring meaning to life.
The mind, or spirit, is the electrical intelligence in this physical-chemical body and brain.
Addiction occurs when the physical brain has taken control of the mind.
The mind is the intelligent part of us that gets frustrated at losing control.
It is in the sense that the conscience exists.
This is the part that generates feelings of right or wrong.
The physical brain has no concept of right or wrong.
Its primary function is to keep us alive, and it does this by driving us to avoid pain and seek pleasure.
The physical-chemical brain has a tremendous capacity to gain control of the mind.
It can subject it and trap it.
In other words, it can take over the human will and influence how a person thinks, feels, and acts.
This state is known as addiction.
It is a state where the physical-chemical brain demands or compels one towards a specific behavior regardless of what the mind or conscience says.
There appears to be something inherent in the human family that feels it is wrong to view the private sexual acts of others.
In other words, the mind, the electrically intelligent part of us, cannot feel good about participating.
I make this claim after listening to hundreds of addiction treatment stories of clients who have viewed pornography.
Negative results are always the same.
I have never had a client come in and tell me they had a slip during the past week and felt good about it.
NEVER!
Viewing pornography leaves feelings of frustration, irritation, depression, anxiety, emptiness, and debilitating shame.
These feelings directly result from chemical disruptions in the brain that are unnatural and unsustainable for any healthy or satisfying life.
The mind and the spirit suffer when caught up in these acts that hold a complete disregard for the importance and meaning of sexuality.
Sex is not meant to be a frivolous pastime nor a recreational activity; it is intended to be shared between two people who have deep feelings of love and commitment to one another.
This conflict between mind, spirit, and brain is felt within addicts.
When these behaviors come, porn or sex addiction treatment should be sought and not delayed due to unrealistic justifications and rationalizations.
In essence, the only difference between a heroin addict and a cocaine addict is the way the drug enters the system.
The brain responds to information received from the eye quicker than from any other source.
Visual information is processed in the limbic system in microseconds.
This is why pornography is such a big deal.
Visual information is processed faster than any of our other senses.
Even the ingestion of heroin or cocaine is much slower in comparison.
The brain responds to visual sexual images in microseconds, and the chemical reactions take place instantly and automatically.
Many claim that this behavior is normal or mere entertainment because of the chemical brain’s power and capacity to shut out the conscience.
They don’t look for treatment because they feel there is no addiction.
The rationalizations and justifications that can come from the brain’s survival part are alluring and convincing.
When one participates in these behaviors long enough, it is as though they can no longer hear that voice inside of themselves telling them to stop.
Treating pornography and sex addiction is like an iceberg, you only see the surface.
“How do people participating in these behaviors feel afterward?”
My experience is that they will do whatever they can to avoid that question.
They avoid quiet and reflective time when the mind or conscience pricks them.
It is my opinion that those who produce and participate in the making of any form of pornography are so deep into rationalizing and justifying their behaviors that they can no longer hear, feel, or see the truth about what they are doing.
There is no way they could do this work unless they have these psychological defenses firmly in place.
They will have to come to this awareness independently because the more one tells them how destructive this behavior is, the more defensive and justified they will become.
Those who have made it out of this industry will always know it was destructive and unhealthy.
Still, for them to admit it, they have to get out of it first and seek sex addiction treatment.
Many who have become involved in the porn world may feel that they are too far gone to get out of it.
This isn’t true.
They can also get into addiction treatment and recovery.
They can find the peace they have been searching for with the proper education and support. Thousands have done it already.
To those who have trouble accepting the fact that pornography and sex addiction treatment is complex and necessary, listen to the following email that I recently received.
As you read the email I received below, ask yourself the following question:
Is this individual seeking pornography as a mere form of healthy entertainment, or is he driven and compelled to have it?
This email, below, comes from a highly respected man in his community who loves his family and is committed to providing for and caring for them.
“I am sick to my core by virtue of my indulgence in pornography.
To be honest, my appetite for porn accounted for why I got the internet in the very first place, and now that I am down in a horrendous pit, I seriously wonder whether there is hope of recovery for me, for whenever I log onto the internet, I must view porn.
What is wrong with me? Why can’t I change who I am present? Why doesn’t treatment work for me? Is there any change possible for me in the future?”
The feeling expressed in this letter is familiar to what I am seeing in my clinical practice day in and day out when dealing with sex and porn addiction.
Pornography eats away at the inner soul.
After one views it (usually in secrecy and isolation), it leaves them with absolute misery and despair.
These feelings prove they are a slave to it; they no longer have control over it.
Sexual addiction, like all addictions, steals the mind’s freedom and the right to choose.
Those who are addicted to this chemical behavior can seek help through sex and porn addiction treatment and recovery.
To all struggling, know there is help available, but it takes effort, and you must commit to avoid viewing it.
For help in dealing with porn addiction, contact us at Utah Family Therapy, 801.901.0279, and schedule a session to get on the path to healing and recovery.
Gordon, has been our mentor since Utah Family Therapy started.
When he closed his practice, Gordon entrusted us with taking care of his clients and maintaining the Online Pornography Addiction program.
We are grateful for his support and encouragement.
Gordon has recently started seeing clients again and runs a podcast called, “Mind Matters“
Gordon Bruin has over 25 years of experience in helping individuals with addiction treatment.
He has been providing his expertise and knowledge to help individuals struggling with sex addiction.
His mission is to educate and support individuals on their journey to recovery through evidence-based practices and compassionate care.
Click here to learn more about Gordon and to follow his podcast.
Lets face it, who likes to talk about their crap with other people?
If you’re like most clients, you’re used to being judged despite hearing so many people talk about non judgment and when you do open up, it seems like the more you share, the less likely you are to get compassion.
We’ve worked our butts off to create a clinic where the unfiltered, real you, can show up and heal, so dammit give therapy a chance!
We love the unfiltered real you, let’s heal together. – Utah Family Therapy Team
