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Pornography Addiction: Its Impact on the Youth of Today and a Hopeful Opportunity for Recovery

Written by Jacob Kastleman, YES Mentor

When the World Wide Web was created in 1990, there were very few who could have supposed it would give rise to what is the most rampant and destructive addiction currently in existence. Make no mistake; pornography is not a harmless pastime, a recreational outlet, or frivolous entertainment.

One recovering pornography addict of 23-years-old stated:

“Back when I was addicted, I felt like pornography was ruining my life.

Recovering From Porn Addiction

 

Struggle with porn addiction? there’s hope and support.

I’m not like some of the addicts that are out there, those that have been addicted for 20 and even 30 years, but 7 years was long enough for me…Recovering from that addiction was one of the hardest, if not the hardest, things I have ever done. But also, it was by far the most valuable thing I could have ever done for my own happiness, fulfillment, and potential.

I suffered a ton when I was addicted. I thought the way I felt was normal. I didn’t realize that the way I felt on a daily basis had come from how the addiction had restructured my brain.

I suffered with social anxiety and massive depression. I was afraid of women and girls and felt such a lack of confidence around them and inability to speak to them.

That’s one of the things the addiction does.

My desire for goals and aspirations went down the toilet….

On many days, it seemed like all the things I should care about meant absolutely nothing to me. I could never connect with people like I wanted to or be anywhere near the person I believed I could be. Then, every single time I would slip, I absolutely despised it, and even despised myself.

I would swear never to do it again, just to be sucked back in the very next day…. It was sickening. There were even times I thought taking my life would be a better option than to continue suffering and trying to overcome what seemed impossible to.”

What we have to understand, as parents of a child struggling with pornography addiction is this: they’re suffering. They are not broken; they are not evil. They do not desire to be stuck in this addiction. In fact, it’s quite likely they absolutely hate it.

We must understand that addiction does not come from a desire to do wrong, nor does it come from a laziness to exert will power. Will power alone can never and will never defeat addiction.

Realize also that addictions have a source.

Addicts have pain inside that has led them to seek these things out. In many cases, this source is shame.

What is Shame?

Shame Source Of Addiction
The source of addiction is Shame. Addicts must learn how to understand and process their feelings.

First off, let’s describe guilt in order to understand what the difference is. Guilt is the belief that “what I did was bad. That’s not what I want to do nor who I want to be.” Though it is painful, guilt can motivate us to change and to do better in the future. Shame on the other hand, is the belief that “I am bad because I did that.” Shame makes us believe that we are something, and therefore it inhibits our potential to become better.

Shame causes us to blame others, to become depressed, to disengage and disconnect, to become narcissistic, and also leads to anger and aggression.

Many of us feel shame in different degrees on a daily basis. If it is not processed in a healthy way, shame can become a part of us to the point where we are unaware that it is governing our actions, our feelings, and our lives. It can then lead us to pursue destructive outlets as an unhealthy way of coping with the pain.

We will teach your child how to face emotions, not avoid them. We will give them the tools to understand their emotions and be able to replace unhealthy thoughts with realistic, healthy ones. This will lead to open communication, honesty, and resilience in your child. This will help your child not only to overcome their addiction, but also to excel in many other areas of daily life.

In the last decade, brain studies have shown that pornography addiction manifests in the brain much the same way that addiction to cocaine does. The difference? Scans show that pornography is even more addicting, and even more damaging.

The main chemical secreted in the brain during pornography use is dopamine. Dopamine is responsible for regulating our mood and helping us feel joy. Dopamine is released in the brain to bring feelings of motivation, drive, and attentiveness. Perhaps most importantly though, it also enables us to feel connected to those around us and desire closeness with other human beings.

Because so much dopamine rushes through the brain when a person is engaged in pornography use, it drains the brain’s capacity to use it in normal life, and also damages and even destroys the receptors that release dopamine into the brain.

Pornography kills love and relationships, it kills joy, and it destroys potential. It is stripped of all other factors that make genuine real-life relationships meaningful, leaving the participant empty inside.

But here’s the next thing that you must know…there is HOPE! So much hope in fact!

Hope In Recovery
Having hope despite your struggles.

Many previous addicts have already succeeded in overcoming their addiction completely. It has already been done! Though it takes time, the brain does in fact heal! Our minds are capable of incredible feats, and studies have shown that the brain can actually completely rewire and restructure, leading to a life of freedom.

One of the main things that holds addicts back is that they do not know how to recover from their addiction. Here at “Utah Family Therapy”, many of us have experienced addiction ourselves. We have personally experienced the pain that is suffered in addiction. But also, we have experienced the joy that resonates in a life that has become free of these burdens!

Through teaching your child how to process through and replace their thoughts, make new lifestyle choices, engage in the use of powerful tools, and the cutting-edge incorporation of Intensive Network Therapy, that utilizes family and community in a unique and meaningful way, we will guide them on their journey towards transformation.

The trial facing your child may seem immense to you right now, but I promise you that it can one day become a distant memory; one that your child has grown through and developed into a better person because of.

Every sacrifice is worth it for your child’s sobriety. This change will impact them for the rest of their lives. In order for this to happen, work must be done and steps must be taken. Don’t wait.

Let us bring to you our experience and expertise we have gained both in the field of recovery as well as in our own personal lives.

Give us a call at 801.901.0279

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Lets face it, who likes to talk about their crap with other people? 

If you’re like most clients, you’re used to being judged despite hearing so many people talk about non judgment and when you do open up, it seems like the more you share, the less likely you are to get compassion. 

We’ve worked our butts off to create a clinic where the unfiltered, real you, can show up and heal, so dammit give therapy a chance

We love the unfiltered real you, let’s heal together. – Utah Family Therapy Team