The Future of America – How To Stop Addiction to Pornography?
By Gordon Bruin
Edited by Jacob Kastleman
What will it take to figure out how to stop addiction to pornography? What do you think it is going to take in order for rational thinking people to finally speak out in large numbers? How much more do we need to see? How many more stories do we need to hear before we can comfortably speak the simple truth that pornography is the master exploiter of our world and has created a moral epidemic?
Horrible Tragedy – Pornography Addiction Is Very Real, And It’s Everywhere
As a clinician who works in the pornography addiction recovery ﬁeld I am getting tired of hearing the same stories over and over again with nothing at all being done about how to stop addiction. Recently it came to my attention that an 11-year-old girl had been viewing hardcore pornography at home for the past four years without her parents’ knowledge. One might wonder how this could happen. Let me tell you in a very plain and simple manner how this can happen and how it is happening everyday all over the world.
Mom is downstairs in the kitchen making dinner, dad is outside working on his car, and little Susie is upstairs on the family computer looking at pornographic images.
Little Susie hears mom walking upstairs and quickly clicks a button which closes down the pornographic images and then she is back on a site playing a child’s game. Mom comes in the room and asks Susie how she is doing to which Susie replies, “ﬁne mom.”
Mom smiles, goes back downstairs to continue preparing dinner, Susie clicks a few buttons and “poof”, she is again looking at very powerfully stimulating images that have her addicted at this early age.
What a horrible tragedy this is. Susie’s parents have no idea how to stop addiction to pornography because they’re completely unaware that it even exists at this point. Also, Susie has no idea what has grabbed her – she only knows that these images are very stimulating and create a powerful drug rush inside her brain and body. This drug rush simply compels her – drives her – to go back for more and more.
How To Stop Addiction To Pornography In Such Troubling Times
There has never been a drug so easily accessible before. The question of how to stop addiction to pornography doesn’t even arise because it is so accepted. Consider the following statement from Dr. Jeffery Satinover, Princeton University, “With the advent of the computer, the delivery system of this addictive stimulus has become nearly resistance-free.
It is as though we have devised a form of heroin 100 times more powerful than before, usable in the privacy of one’s own home and injected directly into the brain through the eyes. It’s now available in unlimited supply via a self-replicating distribution network, glorified as art and protected by the Constitution.”
We are in very troubling times!
If we do not wake up, learn how to stop addiction, and become more proactive in educating and protecting our children, our world is going to ﬁnd itself even deeper in rampant addiction, amorality, and disconnected and disengaged people than it already is. If you think the above story is an isolated incident, think again. I am hearing more and more of such stories every week in my clinical practice. How does one go about treating an 11-year-old sex addict?
Chris Lee’s November 25th, 2011 Newsweek article “The Sex Addiction Epidemic” and MSNBC’s interview both describe the destructiveness of sex addiction. He states that “It wrecks marriages, destroys careers, and saps self-worth.” It seems like everyone knows this but for some strange reason nothing of a significant nature is being done on a large scale to stop it, and many families and parents continue to house computers in hidden rooms and give their kids and teenagers their own personal pocketed device to access the internet from. Changes need to be made. We need to be aware and committed to preventing any more from developing this sinister addiction.
The leaders who founded this free nation struggled with the issue of some things being right and some things being wrong. The definition of conscience is as follows: “an inner feeling or voice viewed as acting as a guide to the rightness or wrongness of one’s behavior.” These individuals sacrificed all they had for their cause.
Now, fast forward 239 years to the present day, where tolerance has been taken to levels unimaginable. What if the founding fathers just continued to tolerate the abuses and injustices of their day. Where would we be now? When is it time to speak out and take a stand? When is it time to do something about those things that are just plain wrong? When is it time for you to figure out how to stop addiction to pornography?
We have taken the freedoms that have been granted us and allowed ourselves excursions into the deepest, darkest abyss of human behavior with pornography. A wife of a pornography addict, very concerned about how to stop his addiction to porn, recently ask me,
“Who are the people who actually produce these pictures and videos. Who are the people who actually do these things? Where are they?”
Almost as if she had a hard time believing that they were real people. She was wondering how someone could live with themselves after participating in such behaviors. The best word to describe her feelings surrounding the question was anger and sadness.
Unfortunately, the truth is that a majority of those who participate in this perverted, dark material is actually in human trafficking. They are being forced, and those that are forcing them are doing so for the money and their own sick, twisted pleasure and desire for power.
As a clinician who works with sex addicts on how to stop addiction to pornography, I can clearly and loudly say that I have never yet met a person who participates in pornography, in any way, that can say they feel right about it. Listen to the plea for help from the following email I received:
“I am sick to my core by virtue of my indulgence in pornography. To be honest, my appetite for porn accounted for why I got the Internet in the very first place and now that I am down in a horrendous pit. I seriously wonder whether there is hope of recovery for me, for whenever I log onto the Internet, I must view porn. I don’t know how to stop addiction to pornography! What is wrong with me? Why can’t I change who I am presently? Is there any change possible in the future of me?”
It is time to clearly state that some things are right and others are wrong because it is the truth! We all know it anyway – it’s just that too many have chosen the road of self-indulgence over self-discipline that conscience requires of us. Thankfully, our conscience is patient and persistent. It won’t give up easily.
Yes, there are very powerful psychological denial mechanisms at play such as rationalization, justiﬁcation, minimization and so forth, but beneath them, all the inner voice tells us what is right and wrong and we all know it. Perhaps it is time to pay attention to it! Then it is time to learn how to stop addiction!
Any time we wish, we can be the ones that learn how to stop addiction to pornography. Any time we wish, we can then go about disciplining ourselves to understand how to change our lives and take the steps to do so. Any time we wish, we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any time we wish, we can start a new activity. Any time we wish, we can start the process to overcome and live a life of permanent sobriety.
The choices are ours to make.
Let it be our choice to figure out how to stop addiction to pornography. As Shakespeare uniquely observed, “The fault is not in the stars, but in ourselves.”
We are who we are today because of our past choices. If we choose to look the other way and not do something about this problem then we become a part of the problem. Haile Selassie–former emperor of Ethiopia–put it this way,
“Throughout history, it has been the inaction of those who could have acted; the indifference of those who should have known better; the silence of the voice of justice when it mattered most; that has made it possible for evil to triumph.”
At Utah Family Therapy, counseling teenagers, young adults, and families, we are educated and experienced in addiction recovery.
We see the suffering and the pain that is created in its wake. We have also had the privilege to be a part of the success of many recovered addicts. There are large scale events that need to occur, and this article is meant to speak out against this detrimental force that is ruining lives and relationships, to build awareness, and to get you to act and make the choices necessary on a daily basis.
In addition, though, this is very much an individual endeavor, and we are here to make a difference one life at a time. If you or your loved one is caught up in addiction or struggles with this destructive behavior in any way, please give us a call at: