Feeling bored with your roommate, I mean spouse?

Do you ever feel like you and your spouse have become roommates? That being together is more about the logistics and less about your marriage?

It can be difficult when we look at our once fun, romantic, loving relationship and feel like it has turned into nothing but sharing the shelter, bills and other responsibilities. When our conversations seem to only relate to carpool and kids, and we lose our individual identities to that of Mom and Dad. We can get caught up in the monotony of our daily lives and routines, and we feel bored.

Many wonder if they can ever go back to the way things were. Can it ever be fun? Will I ever look forward to time with my partner the way I once did?

It isn’t unusual for marriages to change over time. Most of us assume we will have to adapt in some way, at some time; however, during courtship in a relationship, it’s hard to believe things will ever become that way. While it may be true that the days of butterflies and the desire for constant physical affection may not be in the cards, relationships can still experience deep love and respect as they grow. This love and connection include relationships where one or both partners may have felt bored at one time.

Some people believe they can wait the boredom out.

roommate or spouse
Ignite the flame with your spouse again.

Once the kids are grown, we’ll have time to rekindle the flame between us. That might work for some but what if your partner can’t wait? What if you can’t wait? More and more we are seeing individuals leaving relationships and just being done. Mentally, emotionally, they feel they have been running a marathon, and they have hit a wall.

Regardless of whether you or your partner are in jeopardy of hitting a wall, why put off repairing the marriage? Statistically speaking you have a greater chance of bringing love again into your relationship. You could wait and hope that there will be a better time to work on things. It is true that getting back to that place can be difficult. Maybe you feel like you’re already at your wit’s end and the thought of getting help and things not changing is so devastating that it practically paralyzes you, keeping you from doing anything about your situation. Isn’t it time for a change, though?

The next six months or six years are going to go by whether we like it or not, wouldn’t it be better if you were happy during that time? Even if things don’t work out the way you want them to, there is more peace in knowing you tried than in knowing you accepted a feeling of despondency. You and your partner are worth more than that.

Take the time to seek out help to rekindle the flame, to find a love and respect that is greater than anything you’ve experienced thus far. Whether it’s for your partner or yourself, there are answers with love.

Couples Counseling Utah Family Therapy, American Fork, UT – 801.901.0279