Utah Family Therapy

5 Levels of Intimacy That Are Needed​ in a Marriage

5 Levels Intimacy
To keep a committed relationship strong, you need 5 Levels of Intimacy.

Did you know that there are 5 Levels Intimacy that are critical for having a strong relationship

Intimacy is a word that can have different meanings for different people. For some, it may simply mean physical closeness, while for others it may encompass all aspects of a relationship.

In this blog post, we will discuss the five facets of intimacy: physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual.

We will explore what each one means and how they can enrich our lives.

Intimacy is an important part of any relationship, and it is worth taking the time to understand all that it has to offer!


1. Physical (Non Sexual)

Physical Intimacy
Non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, hugging, cuddling, massage are critical.

Physical intimacy is a way to express our affection for and connection to another person. It can include things like holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and massage.

For many people, physical intimacy is an important part of their relationships. It can help to build trust, foster communication, and deepen the bond between a couple.

It is important to remember that physical intimacy does not necessarily have to be sexual in nature.

Many non-sexual forms of physical intimacy can be just as satisfying and meaningful.

Don’t be afraid to express your affection in whatever way feels comfortable for you. Hugging, cuddling, and massages are all great ways to show your love without being sexual.

2. Emotional Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy
Support your partner during times of stress and express affection.

Emotional intimacy is a crucial part of a healthy relationship. It’s what allows you to feel close to your partner and to share your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Unfortunately, many couples find it difficult to maintain emotional intimacy over time.

According to Dr. John Gottman, one of the biggest predictors of divorce is a lack of emotional intimacy.

He suggests that couples need to work on creating and sustaining an “emotionally intimate” relationship in order to stay together in the long run.

One way to do this is to make time for meaningful conversations regularly.

This can be done by setting aside time each week to talk about your day, your thoughts, and your feelings.

Additionally, it’s important to be supportive of your partner during times of stress and to express your affection regularly.

By making an effort to foster emotional intimacy, you can help create a stronger, more lasting bond with your partner.

3. Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual Intimacy
Happy couples share their ideas, thoughts and dreams.

Intellectual intimacy is a special kind of relationship that allows partners to share their innermost thoughts and feelings with each other.

This type of intimacy requires honesty, vulnerability, and a willingness to truly be seen by your partner.

It is not about showboating or trying to impress each other with your intelligence; instead, it is about sharing your ideas and thoughts in a safe and trusting environment.

When both partners feel free to express their true selves, it can create a deeper level of intimacy and connection.

Gottman has found that couples who have this type of deep connection are more likely to weather the ups and downs of life together and maintain a happy and lasting relationship.

If you are interested in deepening your relationship with your partner, make an effort to create opportunities for intellectual intimacy.

Ask questions about their day, their work, and their thoughts on current events. The more you learn about each other, the closer you will become.

4. Spiritual Intimacy

Spiritual Intimacy
Knowing that you are loved for who you are with a soul-deep connection.

In a relationship, spiritual intimacy is that sense of soul-deep connection that allows you to be fully yourself with another person, and to feel loved and accepted for who you are.

It’s the kind of closeness that can only come from sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, and from knowing that you are loved and supported, no matter what.

Spiritual intimacy doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time, effort, and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other.

But the payoff is more than worth it. When you have spiritual intimacy in your relationship, you have a foundation of trust and mutual respect that can weather any storm.

You know that you can always count on each other, no matter what happens. And that’s the most priceless gift of all.

5. Sexual Intimacy

Sexual Intimacy
Sexual intimacy helps to maintain and strengthen a bond between a couple

One of the most important aspects of a relationship is sexual intimacy.

This is the part of the relationship where couples connect on a physical and emotional level.

It is an important way to show your partner that you love and care for them.

It is also a great way to relieve stress and maintain a healthy physical relationship.

When sexual intimacy is maintained, it can help to strengthen the bond between two people.

However, when it is lacking, it can be a major source of conflict in a relationship.

If you are having problems with sexual intimacy, it is important to talk to your partner about it.

Trying new things together can help to spice up your sex life.

Be willing to experiment, and don’t be afraid to ask for what you want, above all, remember that sex is meant to be enjoyable.

Sexual intimacy is an important part of any healthy relationship and should be treated as such.


When it comes to Intimacy remember it is a fundamental need for humans, and it comes in many different forms, these 5 Levels of Intimacy are crucial.

While there are other types of intimacy we could explore, these five provide a good foundation for understanding what intimacy means to us.

Gottman has said that Intimate relationships are the crucibles in which our most cherished values are forged.”

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Lets face it, who likes to talk about their crap with other people? 

If you’re like most clients, you’re used to being judged despite hearing so many people talk about non judgment and when you do open up, it seems like the more you share, the less likely you are to get compassion. 

We’ve worked our butts off to create a clinic where the unfiltered, real you, can show up and heal, so dammit give therapy a chance

We love the unfiltered real you, let’s heal together. – Utah Family Therapy Team