Utah Family Therapy

5 Things Happy Couples Do Differently


What makes a Happy Couples relationship work? Is it finding someone with similar interests, or simply being there for each other through good and bad times?

While both of those things are important, research shows that there are specific things happy couples do differently that make their relationships thrive.

If you’re looking to have a successful relationship, here are five things to keep in mind. 


1. Happy Couples Have Rituals

Create Rituals
Do regular rituals together creating a shared identity.

Rituals are “special activities that couples regularly perform together.”

These rituals can be anything from taking a walk together every evening to sharing a cup of coffee in the morning.

What matters is that the ritual is something that is done regularly and provides a sense of connection between the two partners.

Rituals help to create a shared sense of identity and provide a sense of stability in the relationship.

They also give couples a chance to reconnect on a regular basis and to enjoy one another’s company.

As Gottman writes, “Rituals remind us why we are together in the first place.”

By creating rituals together, couples can build a stronger bond and create a more lasting relationship.

2. Positive Communicators

Positive Communication
Couples with positive communication tend to be happier.

When it comes to communication, happy couples have a few things in common. For one, they tend to be positive communicators. That is, they focus on the good rather than the bad.

They also make an effort to understand their partner’s point of view and communicate effectively about their own needs. In addition, happy couples are typically good at problem-solving.

If there is a disagreement, they work together to find a resolution that works for both of them. Lastly, happy couples know how to have fun together.

They enjoy each other’s company and make time to laugh and play. 

By contrast, unhappy couples tend to be negative communicators.

They dwell on the negative and often fail to see their partner’s perspective. They also have difficulty solving problems and often resort to criticism or blame.

If you want your relationship to thrive, focus on being a positive communicator. It will make all the difference.

3. Generous with Time and Affection

Generous With Affection
Couples that are generous with affection, form a deeper connection.

When it comes to happy couples, generosity is key. Couples who are generous with their time and affection tend to be happier and more fulfilled than those who are not. 

One of the reasons for this is that generosity creates a sense of connection and intimacy. 

When we give our time and attention to our partner, we are saying that we value and care for them. 

This in turn strengthens the bond between us and leads to greater satisfaction in the relationship. Additionally, generosity also promotes a sense of trust and mutual respect. 

When we are generous with our love and attention, we are showing our partner that we are willing to make sacrifices for them. 

This can lead to a deeper level of trust between partners, as well as a greater sense of respect. 

Ultimately, happy couples are those who are generous with their time and affection. 

By investing in their relationship, they are able to create a strong foundation for a lifetime of happiness.

4. May Have Separate Interests

Separate Interests
Happy Couples can have separate interests.

In any relationship, it is important that each partner have some degree of separateness and independence. 

This is not to say that every couple needs to have completely separate lives, but it is important that each partner have some time for themselves. 

This can be in the form of hobbies, friends, or simply taking some time each day to pursue something that they are interested in. 

When each partner has their own interests, it gives them a chance to recharge and come back to the relationship with fresh energy. 

It also helps to prevent boredom and stagnation in the relationship. 

Couples who are able to maintain their own interests while still being supportive and invested in their relationship are usually the happiest and longest lasting.

5. Repair Fights Quickly

Happy Couple
It takes work to be a happy couple and learn to repair fights quickly.

All couples fight. It’s inevitable. What separates happy couples from unhappy ones is not whether they fight, but how they fight and how they repair afterward. 

When couples know how to repair their fights quickly, they are less likely to become gridlocked over unresolved issues and more likely to feel closer to one another as a result of sharing their thoughts and feelings openly. 

There are four main steps to repairing a fight: acknowledging that something went wrong, taking responsibility for your own role in the problem, making a genuine apology, and committing to changing your behavior in the future. 

By following these steps, couples can learn to repair their fights quickly and keep their relationship strong.


Couples Connecting
You can be a happy couple, just learn how.

So what can the rest of us do to have a happier relationship? It turns out that many of the things happy couples do are things we can all work on. 

For example, try establishing some rituals in your relationship – something that you both look forward to and make time for. 

Be positive communicators with each other, showing interest and concern for your partner’s day-to-day. 

Give generously of your time and affection, even when you don’t feel like it. And finally, know how to repair fights quickly so they don’t become damaging arguments. 

Implementing just a few of these changes could make a big difference in the happiness of your relationship. What will you start doing today?


Lets face it, who likes to talk about their crap with other people? 

If you’re like most clients, you’re used to being judged despite hearing so many people talk about non judgment and when you do open up, it seems like the more you share, the less likely you are to get compassion. 

We’ve worked our butts off to create a clinic where the unfiltered, real you, can show up and heal, so dammit give therapy a chance

We love the unfiltered real you, let’s heal together. – Utah Family Therapy Team