We have learned a lot about same-sex attraction (LGBTQ) and have much more to learn.
Understanding LGBTQ – Are You Safe to Talk To?
Understand your brain’s response to sexual stimuli.
The fact is, there is no one answer to the array of questions surrounding the LGBTQ conversation. As we gain a greater understanding of same-sex attraction, we do know that the search for acceptance, connection, and love are universal despite one’s sexual orientation. When we add controversy, shame, and confusion to the search for connection, the implications are astounding!
Sexuality comes from a natural, instinctual, part of the brain (the limbic system); It’s built-in to us, like the need for air, food, and water.
The logical part of our brain, the pre-frontal or cerebral cortex manages higher functions, thinking, and values: The Processor. The Limbic brain (IT) does not process; it merely wants what is necessary to avoid pain and survive. IT wants to feel like things are okay and in a comfortable cycle.
When conflict arises between these two parts of our brain, we tend to go into fight or flight sequences. Sexuality in and of itself is one of the most conflict-driven topics to humanity. Add the controversies of being LGBTQ to that conflict, and it makes chaotic sense why the issue is so heated. The reality regarding conversations concerning our human sexuality is that the majority of humans are conflict avoidant. Unless backed into a corner, we prefer resolution rather than a fight regarding our sexual natures. If the answer were as simple as “just choose” don’t you think, most LGBTQ individuals would have already done that?
Questioning Sex as Survival
Now some people would ask,
‘Well, is sex a survival requirement? Is it comparable to air, water, and food?’
If you don’t have sex right here, right now, will you die? Of course not. However, the human race is designed to be sexual to survive as a race. The idea of the sexual drive being instinctive is essential for understanding our sexual natures.
Most of us desire sexual experiences, but as we add conflict to these sexual inclinations, it gets incredibly confusing. The vast majority who experience same-sex attraction are confused by it and fear to talk about it. They wonder,
‘Why is this my experience?’.
‘I don’t want to choose this. What is wrong with me?’
For almost all individuals in the LGBTQ community, they feel that ‘It chose me,’ instead of them making a conscious choice to have the sexual orientation that they feel. In fact, in our interviews with dozens of LGBTQ individuals, they report experiencing denial and self-rejection; Often to the point of wanting life to end due to feeling rejected by self and others.
When hundreds of humans are feeling the extreme “flight” response to end their lives due to something they can’t control, perhaps we need to ask if we are having the right conversations on the topic of LGBTQ.
The same-sex Neurological response is just like any other sexual response.
Sex is a Powerful Drive
The mere fact that sexuality is potent and drives us to seek out a mate helps, more fully, illustrate sexuality as part of survival.
Understanding the brain can certainly help us in realizing sexuality is an instinct and a survival type of an approach in processing experiences.
There are few questions more controversial than whether someone is LGBTQ due to the environment or just being born that way. In our experience, most LGBTQ individuals report having always felt that way. The reality is none of us have control over another person’s emotions or sexual orientation, so in the end… it does NOT matter.
We have seen that the more conflict and negativity LGBTQ individuals experience, they are likely to flee. In many cases, they will fully disengage from contact and communication with friends, family and social circles of conflict.
Most importantly, someone who is LGBTQ is NOT broken. In the way, society and culture have dealt with and communicated regarding the topic is what is broken.
Compassion and love are the most powerful antidotes in healing.