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I Feel Sad Giving Up Porn

Giving Up Porn I Want to Stop Viewing Porn. I Want to Give It Up Badly!

I feel sad about giving up porn, why?

I have experienced that with a number of people with whom I have worked in therapy. They feel like it’s difficult to actually face the idea of giving it up. One of the reasons for that is because it is a very rewarding experience. It’s very rewarding to be able to act out, and to give the pleasure center of the brain that experience.

We have chemical releases that are going on in the brain and to put it bluntly, they feel good! When they’re experienced, you know, the dopamine, the adrenaline, the oxytocin, the serotonin – all those kinds of chemical changes that take place in the brain when we go through a sexual experience, provide a very positive experience, at least in that moment.

Feeling sorrow & regret for a past action

Now afterwards, that usually changes. Usually there’s a different feeling of sorrow and guilt or shame or both. And other feelings of being isolated, being lonely, and so forth. But because of the nature of the fact that it’s so rewarding in that moment, and it’s such a – The build-up to that moment, is also very enjoyable.

You know the thrill, so to speak, of inching closer to a sexual experience, is enough that it feels like we really want that. And that is an instinctual response that we’re going to have. So, to face the idea of giving that up can be really daunting. Because we’re often not sure that we’ll be able to feel the same kinds of rewards in other areas of our life. 

I mentioned the idea of sort of acclimating to a new temperature, meaning that we are able to adjust to receiving rewards and experiencing rewards in normal life activities that are not addictive activities. And so we’re able to adapt and feel rewarded even though we’re not acting out in that sort of addictive behavior.

It’s hard to grasp that idea when one is considering change. I think because it’s hard for that, it can be very difficult to find the motivation. Usually, the negative consequences of continued addictive behavior, eventually outweigh the desire to, sort of keep that reward, and those negative consequences start to cause imbalance, and then change is wanted.  

But I can definitely speak, after having worked with a lot of people on this, that they are able to find other or I should say they’re able to find rewards that are rewarding in other ways. And, even in a sexual way, there are rewards that come as well, even if the addictive behavior stops. But with sexual behavior with a loved one, the rewards can also be very wonderful and can help take care of that sort of intense sort of experienced sadness, if you will, of the prospect of change.

I hope that made sense. You can call us at 801-901-0279